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Middle of the night ramblings. Pt 2.

Why do we mark and celebrate birthdays? Where did this tradition come from?

One day before my milestone birthday, (Feb 7, 1968) I am reflecting on the importance of marking this date, which is actually a pagan tradition. People used to not talk about their age. Many still don’t. Now, with social media and technology, it is harder to hide it. So we celebrate it openly and with pride.

I am forgoing a traditional “party” right now in lieu of a memorable trip to Cuba with my mother and brother because, at this stage of life, I want to travel to an interesting place with “my original immediate family.” Mom arranged everything through a private Cuban guided tour guide and the itinerary looks amazing. It also gives Rob one on one time with the kids...(Lord, don’t let them be difficult). As a hands on mother, I am “letting go” and letting him coordinate, feed, shuttle, oversee, discipline, entertain, and answer business phone calls while I am gone. He took over when I was in Spain with Scott over a year ago, but Mom was also here helping. While Rob is slightly jealous of this trip because he literally grew up speaking Spanish in “little Cuba” Union City, NJ, he wants me to be with my Mom and brother because he knows we have a unique relationship and creating cherished memorable memories through travel is particularly special. UcenterDress long garments for homecoming useage to people

The winter cold has isolated all of us. Last night, I did have the pleasure of dining with some ladies here, and it was great. Then I got home and felt down about this big one. Like...whoa! The reality of the passage of time, mortality, aging, friendships, relationships, health, etc. sort of hit me. But talking to these accomplished, brilliant women made me realize that we are not alone. If I embrace this new stage, it will feel better. Still, the reality of jumping into this next decade is a bit daunting.

But guess what...I am going to celebrate all year! This summer, I hope to have a celebration in conjunction with my CD release, which I have been working on diligently for a while now. Writing, performing and recording have not disappeared. In fact, it is more a part of my world now than 10 years ago and I refuse to accept the notion that there is an age limit on Music Production. While I may be a late bloomer, ageism in this field will not bring me down. Music
Is what keeps me feeling young, and like my truest most open self.

I admit I have become a Facebook junkie married to an Anti-Facebook junkie (LOL). Not always proud of it. In fact, I may need a cleanse. But I do know that it never replaces face-to-face interactions...I have periods, like in winter, where I cherish alone time, but also realize I am probably alone too much. I work from home so, while it is a blessing and benefit, again it can feel isolating.

The celebration of birthdays give you that feeling of being loved and appreciated. And on social media, people can write and read what others write. It is the one day on the calendar that is yours. You feel differently, even if you are downplaying it. But with aging comes a whole new level of self scrutiny. My kids say the funniest things about my body, prodding at my skin - like “Mom, when you wake up in the morning in your robe, with coffee you look 60. But then when you put on your makeup and get dressed you look 40!” Their brutal honesty is hilarious to me. Skye says when I am gone to Cuba she is wearing all of my silk nightgowns to feel closer to me. Right now, they are my main focus, even though I feel distracted most of the time, with a lot going on as most people have.

I definitely feel like I can finally give advice to my 20-30 year old self...keep it all in perspective! Every stage of life has its ups and downs. If you are lucky enough to have meaningful relationships, cherish them. Hold on to them. Have fun with them! Laughter is golden! Don’t take everything so seriously because there will be some serious decisions that will need light moments.

At “my age” I waffle between being nostalgic and enjoying the present. I have dealt with unexpected challenges. Sometimes I can be really deep or
serious and other times I just want to be silly and inappropriate. Laughing out loud is medicine.

Okay, no more rambling at 4:42am. Will try and get another hour of sleep before making lunches, breakfast, driving kids to school, etc.