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I was shocked last night, absolutely shocked. As I took my supper I popped the telly on for five minutes and was confronted by a show entitled 'Naked Attraction' or something of the like. Now, I wouldn't imagine that you gentle souls would have witnessed this exhibition of vulgarity for yourselves so I shall enlighten you. The idea is for one individual to invite another individual to walk out with them on a date and possibly take wine together. To do this the chooser interviews the choosees but, and this is going to shock you, the chooser is clothed and the choosees unburdened by clothing of any sort save the odd tattoo. In this case around six young ladies stood in semi transparent booths whilst a spotty face oik perused their charms and whittled them down to two. He then retired off screen and returned sans rainment to decide which lucky damsel to invite out for an assignation. At which point they dressed. Now, to be honest, I was under the impression that it was supposed to be the other way around. You started dressed and with a bit of luck, and a following wind, you ended up in the buff (If memory serves). At this point I could almost hear Rees-Mogg (founder of the BBC, Nation shall speak peace unto nation and all that) spinning in his grave, John Logie Baird exploding " is this what I invented the bloody thing for?" More closer to home I was worried about suffering association trauma. Will I forever associate my bowl of Rice Krispies with getting up to 'hows your father' and more importantly if by some chance I become engaged in 'hows your father' will I start thinking about snap, crackle and pop at an inopertune moment? Now, I'm no prude, I've been around. I've even endured a holiday in Eastbourne but this is beyond the pail. Anyway, time marches on, must go, Songs of Praise is on and it's coming from a nudist colony in Feltham. (I dread to think what they've done to Blue Peter.) Ucenter Dress extra sized garments suitable for the mother of the brides